Waking Up in a Jar
Note/content warning: Memories live in the body. This piece is a reflection on waking up too soon, holding too much, and reconciling with what it all means. It’s a little messy. There’s mention of childhood trauma and domestic violence. Feel free to skip it if today isn’t the day. Unfortunately — or maybe fortunately — […]
My Funeral Album
I think people think I’m joking, but it’s very real. It has music, photos, videos, and—of course—memes I want shown when I die. People assume I’m being dramatic, or darkly funny, but no. It’s real. I don’t show anyone the contents because… it’s a surprise. If I ever have kids, they’ll probably be the most […]
Villain Origin Story
(mba = might be awful) I taught myself scientific notation in 6th grade and thought, wow, I must be really good at math. So naturally, I helped start a math club and ran for president (unopposed). I won. The following year, I ran again. I lost. No one saw it coming. Now, I don’t think […]
Today feels different.
I took my anti-depressant. I took my ADHD meds. I had some caffeine. And for the first time in a while, I feel like… almost a whole person. So I’m trying to take advantage of the moment. Catch the wave and maybe, just maybe, shift something in my life. Last night, I asked a best […]
When will I be happy again?
He asked me. I’d only been awake for about half an hour, most of it spent not moving from where I slept. I spend the majority of my day within five feet of that spot. Every.single.day. I wake up with no real mission. I have work. I have school. Both are online. I have friends—also […]
Dear California
It’s almost my 1-year anniversary of moving to California and I’ve been thinking I should write a letter.Dear California, Happy 1-year anniversary. Where do I even begin? In hindsight, I probably never should have moved into your confusing embrace. If I had a do-over, I would have chosen differently, and with where I am today, […]
friends
I was never really good at Telling you What was on my mind And I don’t think you were really Ready for that either Here it goes: Somehow You meant more to me Almost instantly Than people I’d tried for years To keep around And I guess I took your presence for granted I should […]